in a way i'm sort of forcing myself to write this out because i don't feel well at all. i've already journaled this out but i want to post it too so that it starts getting ingrained into my head.

last week i met this girl named tristan at the networking meeting. to my suprise i found out that she's my age. it was a joyful occasion concidering it's so rare to find someone who isn't in high school or married out here. we struck up conversation at the end and decided to catch lunch later in the week...which lead to us deciding to have a bible study together once a week.

this morning we met for our first study. randomly we picked Thessalonians. after reading through the first chapter i didn't expect us to dive in too deep because it was a simple chapter. an hour later we sat suprised that we didn't move onto the next chapter.

1 Thessalonians 1

1Paul, Silas and Timothy,
To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
Grace and peace to you.

Thanksgiving for the Thessalonians' Faith

2We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

it was encouraging and convicting that Paul, Timothy and Silas continually remembered the Thessalonians in prayer. while i was visiting my friends at johnson this past october it was impressed upon my heart to pray for knoxlife church "continually". though i knew this family wasn't where i was going to be ministering in i still felt drawn to lift them up daily. but i haven't. to be honest and i hate to admit it but i have the hardest time praying. ok scratch that... i have the hardest time remembering to pray. when i actually get down to it, i can pray just fine. but even something huge that should be lifted up, escapes my mind. i hate it. this is one of the reasons i have peoples names smack dab in the middle of my face everytime i walk in the bathroom. i can only fathom what would happen if i actually remembered.

tristan gave a great anaology about praying for more than just a few minutes each day: "lets say i didnt' know how to get to [where we were having our study] and i called you. but each time you'd start telling me where to go i'd hang up after 30 seconds. i kept doing that. in a way i started finding my way but how much easier would it be if i stayed on the phone with you?"

4For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you,

[i can't get the italics to turn off...] this part hit me hard. "that he has chosen you" more often than not i second guess my vocational calling. a lot of that has to do with my introverted personality. especially since living here i've struggled with it because more people are pushing me to become more extraverted. it's really hard. sometimes i want to yell at God, "did you really call me to this?! why not make me different!?" and the majority of the time if i think that, God will whisper in my ear, "i made you the way you are for a reason. you are woven together the way you are because you are created to affect certain people. you are YOU for a reason." the mere thought brings tears to my eyes and gives me an excitement that radiates deep.

5because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

[dang italics] how many times have i struggled on the outer banks and forgotten to pick up the word or drop to my knees in prayer?? i can only imagine the suffering these people experience and yet they were joyous for God and His purposes.

7And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 8The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere.

[bah itallics...] i think this is incredible. they weren't just witnesses to the areas around them...their "faith in God has become known everywhere." they absolutly radiated everywhere around them. i long to have such faith..such blinding faith.

Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, 9for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us.

i appreciate them "not needing to say anything about it." while i know there's a line that can be crossed, how important is it to acknowledge what people are doing sometimes. instead of preaching to them to keep doing what they're already doing, be thankful for it and move on to what they're actually struggling with.

They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

back then i'm sure literal idols were around every turn. that's just how life was. but these people gave it up to follow the one true God. in life today, our idols can be anything: money, sex, drugs, tv, food, etc... we're surrounded by SO much. i know that there's something huge in my life that i struggle with every single day. i have all of my life. 85% of the time i want to get rid of it. but the other 15% i don't. that small desire to keep that "sin" makes it nearly impossible to over come. and since it's been in my life for soooo long i've made it separate from me. half the time i can easily pretend it's not a part of who i am...though it is. i want the strength to turn away from my idol and give my life 100% to God...no strings attached.