i have more thoughts than is probably allowed for a post. which means i'm going to be keeping this one short.

today i talked with a guy named zeeke. he comes in pretty much every morning to the bean. there's been a few times we've exchanged bits and pieces of our love for art, but today we dove into it. he was very insightful and when he left i felt challenged and inspired. i've got a big idea bouncing around in my head now. and it's pretty exciting. i feel sort of empty if i haven't got anything to dream big about.

i'm also struggling. i don't feel like i'm enough for much of anything. i'm finding motivation for certain "activities" minimal. i need to talk it out but i'm not sure how, when or if it should be verbalized at all. this is a tough season in my life. though yes, i'm living at the beach [rent free], i've got a great job, food to eat, etc... i don't feel like i'm living up to my true potential or purpose. where it's a right or wrong thought it's something i'm thinking all the same. i'm having a hard time. boredom could be to blame but i'm not exactly sure. i feel like i'm in a rut. i feel like i'm just following people around like a little shadow. and that's what it makes me feel: little. and suffocated.